Ho Ho Ho

[Charlie-49ers]

Happy Holidays. This includes without limitation: Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Hanukkah, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day (including all calendars, not just Gregorian), all solstices, and any and all other holidays in all countries, galaxies, or alternate universes including, but not limited to Marvel, whether or not formally recognized as such by the United States or any territory. (Offer void where prohibited). If I missed your holiday I apologize. If that is not sufficient, you should apply for an emotional support animal.

This message may contain confidential, classified, privileged, incorrect, or other information considered fake news. It may also contain viruses, tracking cookies, advertisements, and other nasty or annoying crap, or not!

Nothing in this email should be construed as providing any legal, medical, financial, romantic, automotive, cooking, gardening, golf technique, pet grooming, player trading or drafting, or any other advice. Caveat lector. All additional disclaimers are hereby incorporated by reference. Some assembly may be required and batteries are not included.

All polite pronouns are cheerfully accepted. You can call or refer to me as anything you want as long as you don't call me late for my tee time.

Should you receive this email in error, please fold, spindle, mutilate or otherwise destroy it and all computers, systems, and routers that it touched. If you opened this email it is highly advisable that you change your Internet provider. Then call Mike Lindell for the latest My Pillow offer and use Promo Code: e=mc2 and enjoy a good night’s sleep. Also try his newest product, My Toilet Paper, patented four-ply, ultra-absorbent, and guaranteed to be the smoothest, etc., etc., etc. you’ve ever had! {Check Fox News for details}

All rights reserved. Do not copy, forward, retransmit, quote, or plagiarize anything from this email without express written permission. This means you!

And, to our friends at the FBI or CIA who are probably reading this message, please say hello to my buddy Snoopy in Section 8.

No electrons were harmed in the transmission of this email and it did not leave a carbon footprint, nor did it contribute to climate change, to the best of my knowledge.

I am the Commissioner and I approved this message.

[Mitch-Oilers]

We left Charlie hanging. He's trying to make a fun. LOL!